Coffee and Philosophy Ministry

Topics and Discussion

Forgiveness and reconciliation
• How often are we expected to forgive? Jesus said 70 x 7, which is basically code for an infinite number of times.
• Is forgiveness the same as reconciliation of a relationship? Might we sometimes need to forgive/let go of the hostility, but also back away from the relationship? Kick the dust from your feet- Matthew 10:14. God may have some other pathway in mind to change hearts in both directions.
• Forgiveness is for us, not for the other person. It frees up our emotional and spiritual energy to devote to what God wants for us instead of stewing on the pain of a transgression.
• The question is really where are we going to put our energies and grace?
• We sometimes learn/get enriched by the situations that hurt us- God works with those situations to build something in us.
• Sometimes, we just feel beat up… which is normal and human.
• The call is to be able to forgive quickly, even instantaneously, but we can only do that through God’s power, not our own.
• We cannot always control our reactions- what immediately comes into our hearts and minds, but we can work to control our responses. We are not the ones who will change someone’s heart- God is the one who will do that. We can change our behavior, especially if we have a period to reflect and analyze why the other person may have acted in the way they did.
• Try to avoid the type of stressors that are more likely to lead to situations that will be hard to forgive.
• The scars from emotional harm are as real as physical harm. We seem, especially as we age, to be very comfortable talking about physical damage but have a harder time talking about emotional damage.

Loving our neighbor
• Great commandment is that we love God with all we have and the second is like it- love our neighbor AS WE LOVE OURSELVES.
• If we are not able to love and take care of ourselves, we are not able to love our neighbors.
• We reap our love for ourselves from the first commandment- loving God.
• God created us and the Creator loves the creation.
• Since God loves us so truly and thoroughly and we love God, it follows that we must love ourselves as He sees us.
• Different people need different degrees of tough love and support- God provides both “tough love” and “gentle parenting. ” We should use that model in our love for others.

Approaches to faith
• People are at various places on their faith journeys and require different approaches when we are trying to help them or just be in relationship with them.

Example: A parent loses a child.
Some people have a simple faith that they lean into during such a tragedy. They hurt, they grieve, they don’t understand, but they also believe viscerally that God is there in the midst of hurt. Other people have a more theological reaction. They still believe in God, but question why God could have let this happen. Still other people lose their belief that God even exists. To be helpful, we must meet each person where they are.
Those who are in the simple faith category may respond better to praying together, talking about God’s role in their lives.
Those who question about why things happen may respond to more theological explanations. Those who have come to doubt that God even exists may respond better to apologetic defense of the faith.
• If we know the people well and believe that there is more going on in their hearts than they are expressing/accessing, we might be able to probe slowly and gently to allow the person permission to “go there” without pushing them.
• Getting to the specific crux of the concern by asking questions may be an effective way in for a deeper exploration.
Unity
• Agreeing on simple, core faith issues- Nicene creed- is a good way to encourage unity.
• Some differences between denominations center of issues like Marian doctrine, high ideas of relics and visions, which version of the Bible is the “one true version,” inspired and inerrantly conveyed by God. These don’t seem like core beliefs that define Christianity. They don’t need to divide us.
• If we go back in antiquity, the copies of primary origin texts for the Bible (Alexandrian and Byzantine) are 98% the same.